Winning (a poem)

How do you stop them

turn off your brain

not let them win

or be allowed to remain

How do you change thoughts

in the middle of it all

maybe hearing a friend

even through a phone call

Can you lose them

throw them away

make your life better

day after day

Knowing what to do

then strong enough to do it

so when the crash is over

you know you have won

8/08/06

These words might not mean anything to some readers. I don't remember my frame of mind when I wrote them, though, so I can't talk about that day. But I can speak for now. Mood swings don't just effect the person with the disorder. They extend to family, friends, others who see them each day. If you are at the bottom and just live day to day, then maybe you aren't fighting. 

The moods don't magically go away. They don't decide to run along and leave you alone. No, the moods dig in and try to take over. You have to control them, instead of letting them control you. That's not as hard as it sounds, either. Go outside and throw old shoes at the garage. Then laugh at the silliness of what you just did. Feel the weight of that mood lift as you gather those shoes. And wave at the neighbor who's trying to decide what the heck you just did. Or, you could leave them outside and let the neighbor's goat enjoy them for dinner. Now that should lighten your mood.